bad bachelorette

I've been to a few bachelorette parties. The women I choose to befriend are usually more interested in dirty martinis than dirty diapers. But I haven't dodged all the bullets, having been roped into 2 of these parties by former co-workers.

My friend Jennifer met a hot latin lover one summer. He didn't speak english and she didn't speak spanish, but I guess they got the whole "language of love" thing down pat, because they were engaged a few months later. I was told it was supposed to be an all out bachlorette party, hit the bars, strip club end up in a pile of vomit. Jodi and I showed up at her mom's house in low slung jeans and halter tops ready for some action. Me with the following in tow 1. Penis shaped sipper cup 2. blowup man doll with handcuffs to chain to her 3. blown up condoms pinned to a home made wedding vail. We show up to the door and it is answered by a woman in a Laura Ashley dress asking us how she could help us. We had walked right into a full on bridal shower. Aren't these supposed to be separate things? All of her family was there, her 3 year old niece snatched the naked man wrapped riding crop and feather tickler out of my hands and made a run for it.

As the night turned out there were plenty of shots, strippers and vomit, thanks to the bride to be. What is the deal with male strippers anyway. It's not hot. At all. I don't want to see any swinging richards in my face thank you very much, and then they got pissed off at me when I didn't want to look at them. A lesbian! I'm sure! Now excuse me while I grab a seat on the other side of the club to watch the girls dance.


Tagged: [bachelorette party] [strippper] [handcuffs] [tequilla]